Growing Old Sucks


Yes, growing old is sucky at times. 

You can’t jump as high, run as fast, or bend as easy. For women the make-up time in the morning increases and your eyebrows disappear.

My legs quit working efficiently. They revolted for all the walking, climbing up and down on the tractor, running after escaped cows and life in general. Apparently, there are little flippers that are supposed to be shoving the blood back up your legs to your heart. For some reason, mine went on an extended vacation.

Therefore, if it ain’t working then let’s get rid of them. Sort of. That’s the gist of the reason.

I had to have vein restoration – ablations of some of my veins in my legs. They have been bugging me for 3 – 4 years and I finally decided I should figure it out.

I was told I needed to take care of it because I was four times as likely to have a stroke. I kinda thought I didn’t want to do that, thus the procedure.

Today was the day. I was told by one person “No big deal, doesn’t hurt.” Another person – my primary doctor “I hate to tell you this, but it is quite painful.”

This is how it went down . . . well really up.

I got to change into these really cool paper shorts and tissue slippers. I can see a new fashion wave in the horizon.

Then into the room to prep. Laying on my stomach they washed the whole leg. I was fortunate enough that the vein from stem to stern was bad (ankle to groin). As they were ultra-sounding the area again, I heard “Oh, it’s one of those.”

If I had a dollar for every time I heard “I’ve never seen that before”, “That’s never happened before”, “That’s weird”, “How in the world did you do that?” I would be rich. Well, maybe I could buy a steak meal at Logan’s.

I had a vein that branched off to the side (this is my understanding of the situation). It’s not unheard of but not normal either. Why be normal – there are too many normals in this world.

After being washed with freezing cold water and wrapped in paper (I felt like a subway sandwich) the doctor came in and the fun began.

They started freezing my leg by my ankle where the incision would be and the “tool” that would be shoved up the vein would enter. They then proceeded to numb my leg in several spots all the way up. And, no it doesn’t feel like a bee sting – unless the bee is from the Promise Land in the Bible where it took two men to carry grapes.

“OK, we’re ready. You might feel a little pressure but should be no pain.”

And we’re off to the races.

Within 1 minute I asked, “You’re way up at the top right?” She answered “Yes, does it hurt or are you just feeling the pressure?” As I was saying “It just aches a little, a nice sharp stabbing pain occurred, and I adjusted my appraisal of the pain. So, some more nice bee stings.

The whole procedure only took about 20 minutes.

Then comes the wrapping. The nurse said my leg up on top would be quite swollen because of all the numbing solution. And then wrapped my leg from stem to stern.

Since this vein was in the back of my leg I had to lay on my stomach. Doing that is not so good for my neck and by the time I was done I was feeling like I was going to get a migraine. So, I stopped at Tim Horton’s on the way home for some caffeine and you just gotta have something donuty with that coffee. And, it was my reward for not crying or cussing.

The good part is there are really no restrictions – I can carry on per usual.

The bad part is there are really no restrictions and I can carry on as usual. I asked the doctor if she could write a note to Farmer saying I had to lay on the couch and watch Hallmark Christmas movies for the rest of the day.  But alas, that didn’t happen.

I get to go back over the next several weeks to have this checked and more done on the other leg.


Meanwhile for a few days I have red neck spanks on my leg.


I took this picture to garner some sympathy from my family. I doubt it will work.

I took this picture to garner some sympathy from my family. I doubt it will work.