Yesterday I felt snippy. My low level of patience was even lower and the little burr under the saddle or the pea under the mattress felt like a boulder or watermelon.
Coming home from a great work vacation I was filled up and had plans to improve our dairy operation and change a few things.
Then it happened.
I had to go into the office and take care of business. I had a week’s worth of bills to enter and a sad, pathetic milk check to add to the balance.
While checking off the vendors that had to be paid I had a quarterly land payment and then the farm property taxes. Ughhhh. Double Ughhhh!
For those who don’t know or realize the dairy farmers have been surviving – some just barely with 1/3 of their income cut for over a year. Our milk prices suck!
While our income has been slashed the rest of our costs stay the same. The cows have to eat we use the tractors everyday which needs fuel and maintenance – funny how things continue to break. All of our wonderful employees count on us to provide for their families. The list could continue.
So, sitting there with the massive amount we need to come up with this pay period sunk in. And, it’s not just us. It’s every dairy farmer. Plus some have lost everything due to weather. And, it’s not from bad choices we’ve made.
Then, add to it the frustrations of the media, special groups and celebrities that sway the general public with their mistruths and blatant lies.
Farmer and I discussed the situation and talked about how or what to do.
I had to leave to run some errands and the whole ball of “crap” we’re dealing with came with me.
Am I lying awake at night worried about this? Losing sleep? No – and solely because God has seen us through hard times and he will continue to. This low spot of the roller coasters is just lower and is lasting longer than usual and I’m basically sick of it. I felt irritated, tired and downright angry.
As I had to interact with others – at the bank, even some email, etc. I just wanted to bite their heads off. Little things said or tone of voice ratcheted up my annoyance.
This morning as I was doing my devotions the revelation came.
I was the person I didn’t want to be. I was reminded that the rude person waiting for me may have dire problems they were dealing with. When all I saw was the shortness and rudeness I didn’t see what was behind it.
So, I am purposing to not allow their rudeness to effect the way I think about a person. In fact, I will try to find a way to encourage that person.
I’m sharing my ugly side in hopes we all see our ugly sides and make room for others to work through their ugliness.
Even if we are the ones in the line of fire.