Sunday, June 26, 2016

What I Wished I Would Have Said

Last night I ran into a young man that I haven’t seen for a very long time. We were at an event and he came over, sat down and we visited.

It was fun reminiscing. During the conversation he mentioned his parents were divorced.

“Divorced? I’m sorry I didn’t know that” I said.

“It’s been over 10 years now.”

I asked how his parents were doing. He talked about his dad and said he hadn’t seen his mom for about 10 years.

Immediately I said “You need to call her.”

He said “I knew you would say that. It’s OK.”

“You do, you have to.”

He put his hand on my shoulder and said something like “It’s fine.”

We were at a venue with a lot of people and the music was loud and it was hard to talk. I wanted to drag him into a corner and sit and talk with him but it didn’t work out that way.

A few minutes later he said “I got a birthday card last year and she added her cell phone number on it. It’s posted on my wall and I look at it every day.”

We were with other people and the conversation came to an end. Oh how I wish I could talk more with him.

This is what I wished I could have said.

You need to call your mom. As a mom I can think of no other thing other than the death of a child that would hurt more. I can’t imagine being out of contact with any of my sons.

I don’t know why you haven’t spoken. She may have done or said something horrible. It doesn’t matter. You need to call your mom.

People change. People regret things said and done. You didn’t live in her skin and have no right to judge her actions.

The fact she sent you a birthday card and included her phone number tells me she wants to reconnect.
Why doesn’t she call you, you may ask. Who knows? Fear, fear or fear perhaps. You can’t control her actions nor should you judge them.

You need to call her before it’s too late. There will always come a point when it’s too late. Too late shows no mercy. Too late is not a rehearsal. Too late is a heavy burden to carry.

You have a perfect opportunity to model integrity, compassion and love to your sons.

What if she rejects you? You’re going to get hurt again, but not as much as not knowing if you could have made it work after you’ve reached the “too late” stage in life.

The most important thing that you may not realize – you need to forgive her. You are slowly killing yourself. You may not think so but unforgiveness is like a small leak in the bottom of a boat in the middle of the ocean. You only realize it when you’re too far out to sea and the leak has let in so much water the weight will sink you. Your water is bitterness that is building inside you. It eats slowly, yet surely.

There may even be a physical connection to the bitterness that has lodged itself in you.

I’m not sure if the young man will read this. But this I know. One of you who are reading this needs this. You need to call or visit your mom, your dad, your brother or sister.  There’s a daughter or son still waiting to hear from you after all these years.

Yes, it’s hard. Yes, you’re fear filled and anxious.

I guarantee you that if you travel into “too late” land it will be far worse than the hurdles you need to overcome to make things right today.

I pray that God will give you the courage and strength, whoever you are, to connect with the person who hurt you or perhaps you were the one who wounded someone else.

Even if the attempt to connect doesn’t result in what you desire there will come a time when this attempt to try will be the one thing that gives you peace.

Here is a link to a short blog I wrote that may help you see this in a different light.

Friday, June 24, 2016

Endings and Beginnings

I ran into an acquaintance yesterday morning. Her husband has been sick quite a while. We exchanged pleasantries and I asked her how everyone was doing in her world.

“Hospice has been called in” she said smiling. She looked tired but not defeated.
I told her I was sorry to hear that.

“He’s tired of fighting and his body is worn out. He even said he thought he’s only going to be here a few more weeks. He just doesn’t want to leave the kids and me.”

I told her I could see how he would feel that way. “As hard as everything is now we know that heaven will be better for him. But, it’s not like you’ve done this before. We can believe all we want yet sometimes the not knowing part is difficult.”

She agreed and said he had read a book called Heaven.

“By Randy Alcorn?” I asked.

“Yes” she said smiling. “He said it’s really helped him. There’s a line in there that he holds onto – Imagine being at the best party ever and it is time to go home. You don’t want to because you are having a great time and don’t want it to end. Once you do leave the party and head home there’s an after party that outshines the original party beyond description. That’s what heaven will be like.”

I know her heart is heavy and facing what is coming is not an easy task, yet throughout our whole conversation she smiled.

I told her I’d be praying for all of them. And, I did throughout the day and during the night last night.

Yesterday afternoon I also saw someone who I haven’t seen for quite awhile. She has a new baby. She looked really good and was happy, yet her eyes were tired.

“How old is he?” I asked as I looked at his scrunched up, old man’s face. He’s so precious. Blond as blond can be and chubby cheeks with just the right amount of fat rolls.

“Four and a half weeks.”

“Is he a good baby?” As if there could be a bad baby. She knew I was referring to his sleeping patterns and eating and such.

“We’re still getting into a routine but so far he’s been pretty easy.”

Those of us there cooed and fawned all over that little wigglie bundle wrapped in the receiving blanket.

We compared a few things with her first child and we all chimed in with our own experiences. Mom was all smiles the whole time.

“We’ll see how he turns out, but so far, so good.” She smiled with tired eyes.

During the night as I was praying for my friend and her husband I thought how ironic yesterday was.
I met and visited with someone who has a few more weeks before she has to say good bye to someone she loves dearly. And, then later that day I met someone who has just said hello a few weeks ago to someone she loves dearly and has the rest of her life with him.

Wednesday, June 22, 2016

Dairy Month Recipe - Buttermilk Pancakes

These are quick, easy and delish!

Stir together:
1 C flour
1 T sugar
1 t baking powder
1/2 t baking soda
1/4 t salt

Add and mix together:
1 egg
2 T oil - I use canola
1 - 1 1/2 C buttermilk - add until you get the consistency you like - this makes a thicker batter.

Mix all together. Add about 2 T canola oil into pan and heat. When the pan and oil is hot pour in the batter. When the pancake starts to bubble lift the corner with a spatula and see if it's browning. Flip the pancake over when the pancake is as dark as you like. Cook until the other side is browned. It only takes about 3 - 4 minutes.

This is so easy and so tasty. Add some bacon or sausage and enjoy.

Tuesday, June 21, 2016

Dairy Month - Poor Man's Pie Recipe

The recipe for Poor Man's Pie came from Farmer's mom. It was called that because way back then the main supplies of milk, sugar and flour were pretty common in the pantry.

It may not be the prettiest pie, but it is delicious.

1 heaping C flour.

Add 1/2 C Crisco - I won't use any other shortening.

1/2 t salt.

Cut together with pastry cutter until crumbly.

Add about 3 - 4 T cold water and mix until it sticks together. You may need to add a few more Tablespoons of water. You want the mixture to just start sticking together.

Place on floured surface.

Roll out large enough to cover pie plate.

Turn the edges over and trim off excess. Then crimp the edges.

Pour 2 C milk into unbaked pie shell.

Mix 1 C sugar.

With 3 T flour.

Sprinkle over the milk.

Add dabs of butter.

Sprinkle with cinnamon.

Bake 375 for 40 minutes or so. This is a little tricky. The liquid will bubble. Keep it in the oven until the crust starts to get too brown. When you take it out it will be soupy. As it cools, it thickens.

Wednesday, June 8, 2016

June = Dairy Month

Tuesday, June 7, 2016

June = Dairy Month

Monday, June 6, 2016

June = Dairy Month

Celebrate the ordinary

Today is the only day you have. Don't wish it away, worry it away or plan it away. Your ordinary days add up to life.

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