A week ago, I was in the ER for about 4 ½ hours.
You know how your heart does that weird flip, flop, flutter thing and then goes back to normal? Well, mine wouldn’t quit the flip, flop, fluttering – went on for several hours for days. After a phone call to the on-call line for my doctor I was told to go to the heart center right away.
EKG, X-ray and blood tests were done. The cardio doctor came in and watched the monitor and said “Yep, there. And there, Again ….”
Apparently, my heart was stopping, stuttering and starting again.
Farmer claimed it was due to his nearby presence.
After each test was the long waiting period for results.
Finally, after 4 hours the doctor came back in and said “The first blood test came back good, but we always do a second one to be sure. We are going to send you home with a Holter monitor and have you follow up with the cardiologists.”
My response was “So, I have to wait here another hour and a half for results?”
“Yes, we just want to be sure with the blood work.”
I then replied, “How about you take my blood, I leave and if there is a problem you can call me?”
She then said, “I can’t MAKE you stay.”
I answered “Then, let’s do it that way. You take the blood, I leave and you call if necessary.”
That’s what we did, and I never received the phone call and am waiting to see the specialists. I believe I will go in, spend too much money on tests and they will tell me “Don’t worry, it’s just something that happens.”
I’ve told all this – not for concern on your part because I am believing I am totally normal – well, you know, as much as I can be.
I wanted to explain why I’m writing this.
One of the reasons I didn’t want to wait for the blood test is because I had an overwhelming, crushing desire to go home. I longed, yearned, needed to be home. I had an unexplainable, what I think would be unnatural, craving for my home.
Today as I was coming home from the store I was thinking about how grateful I was to NOT be in the hospital and how over the top my desire to be home was last week.
As I pondered, my thoughts went to the fact that this isn’t really home. Heaven is my real home, I’m just having a sabbatical here on earth.
For a flittering moment I thought I really should have this same desire for heaven. But, to tell you the truth I would fight tooth and nail to stay here on this earthly vacation.
Does that make me a bad Christian? Nope.
Is God disappointed with me? I don’t think so.
The whole thought process brought me to a request of God. I asked him to please, please give me that undeniable quench for heaven when his appointed date of my departure was scheduled in his Book of Life if I had time to think about it.
I also asked that he would give that understanding to any of my loved ones. That it was a good thing, a joyful thing.
I had one more conversation with God – “Please make sure you get my scheduled home going date right.”